The Pressure of Being Single

Im 31 and i am single. For most of the people, it comes as a surprise that I am still unmarried. Just this morning, the postman whom i have known since i was a child, delivered a mail to our house.  I was asked the most familiar question , “Are you married yet?”.  I always answer this question with a smile, “not yet”.  The same familiar shock is drawn on his face. I literally wanted to die.

I have always wanted to be a mother and a wife. Whenever i attend a wedding, i always ask God, “When will it be my turn?”.  I have never dreamt of a beautiful and extravagant wedding but I have always dreamt of waking up early in the morning at the sound of a baby’s cry and with a husband beside me at my bed.  I have always dreamt of cooking breakfast and dinner, packing lunch for husband and kids. I always imagine myself reading Bible stories and teaching my kids how to pray to Jesus before bedtime.  I have always wanted to have a family of my own and growing old with someone i love.

At 31, i refuse to believe that I am not destined for marriage.  My life revolves around my career as a programmer.  But most of the times, my thoughts are consumed with a dream of a married life.  But the sometimes i think that God might have destined me to be single for the rest of my life.  That thing is very difficult for me to accept.

My family and friends oftentimes push me to go out and meet single men.  Im not an introvert but i am a certified homebody. Id rather sleep all day than party all night. But im not sure if its plain laziness or just extremely tired to go out. 

Its hard to be alone and its even harder when someone shouts to your face that you are indeed alone. I dont want to go on with my life unnoticed, having no one to witness my life. But then, what am i to do? It’s in the hands of my Creator..the Master Planner.  All i have to do is to wait…to wait patiently.

Being single for a time is good but being single for the rest of your life isnt. I have a heart for marriage but then married life seems like not knocking at my door yet. All ive got to do is to enjoy the wait because i know that the time will come when it will finally be my turn. It may not be today or tomorrow or the day after the next..but i know the best is yet to come.

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Posted on October 22, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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